Modesty

Modesty

“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:25 (LSB) 

“And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.” Genesis 3:7 (LSB) 

“And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”’ Genesis 3:11 (LSB)

“Then Yahweh God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and He clothed them.” Genesis 3:21 (LSB)

Why do we wear clothes?

This section of scripture has fascinated me ever since I had to answer my three year old as to the question of modesty.  I grew up with an understanding of what was “modest” according to my parents’ standards and their standards seemed reasonable so I adopted them.  When questioned about why I did not wear a bikini, I would answer my friends with the simple phrase “It isn’t modest”.  I guess they were satisfied with it because I never had to explain further to anyone who asked, until my three year old.  “It isn’t modest” wasn’t good enough for her.  “What is modest?”, she pressed, and I had to really take the time to think about the biblical answer for her.  I want my children to be able to be Bereans with my parenting.  If I can’t give them a chapter and verse, I need to rethink my rules and make sure I am letting my parenting flow from God’s Word, not the traditions of man.  I did a quick search about clothing in the Bible and found a sermon from John MacArthur that shed some light on the subject.  He said, 

“Because of lust and because of sin, people need to be clothed, they need to be covered. Nakedness is not acceptable to God, but nakedness is not acceptable to man, because he understands that it can solicit shameful things. They felt shame for the first time. And here God reinforces that, verse 21, by making permanent garments out of hide, animal hide, and clothed them.”  He went on to describe the beauty of this first sacrifice to cover sinners, “My, what a beautiful picture of the Lord Jesus, who is the Lamb slain by God from before the foundation of the world.”

What an amazing picture image.  Not only did He give practical covering for the shame that they now felt about their sin, but He also gave a spiritual imagery for the future covering that Jesus would provide for our sin.  God is so gracious!  But along with the beauty of this act of mercy, we see the ugliness of the sin of immodesty.  We don’t want to be reminded of the curse, we don’t want to be subjected to a holy standard; we want to make our own rules.  When we try to throw off modesty in our lives, we are trying to throw off the restraints and provision that God has given because of our sin.  It starts in our heart and expresses itself in our appearance.  When He covered Adam and Eve’s nakedness in the garden, He was purposeful.  He was authoritative.  He did not give them the option to be naked or clothed as if they are equal.  We know some things are right and wrong because God has given us a conscience. (Romans 1:18-31)

Modesty is not…

In 1 Peter, we see that modesty is not exclusively measured in external standards. “Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on garments; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible quality of a lowly and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 (LSB) We cannot assume we are being modest as long as we can’t see “up it, down it, or through it”.  Modesty is not a long skirt and tight bun in your hair.  It is not staying one hundred years behind on the fashion trends.  It is not having a slightly more covered amount of skin than the girl in the pew in front of you at church.  We are tempted to believe the world but let us be wise and fear the Lord.  His standard should be our standard.  The world will always try to shake off those restraints.  

Modesty starts in the heart.

In the same verses we see that our clothing is supposed to be an adornment but not our only adornment.  This is describing something that improves the appearance of an object.  So our clothing should improve our appearance.  But this adornment is nothing if it is not adorning someone who is concerned about the “hidden person of the heart”.  It is shown to the world by having a “lowly and quiet spirit”.  In 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (LSB) we see an even more specific heart attitude. “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, with modesty and self-restraint, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly clothing, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women professing godliness.” This is describing someone who is humble, does not draw undue attention to themselves, and desires to bring glory to God by their actions (good works).  This is “proper for women professing godliness”.  So we see that our inward desires go hand in hand with our outward appearance.  It is so convicting.  Adornments are visible to all and purposeful.  Do I purposefully walk in good works with a lowly and quiet spirit?  I pray for God to work in us all to desire His ways.  They are far above our ways.

This is what you wear when you are cold.

Sanctuary of the Holy Spirit.

It just keeps getting better!  In addition to these descriptions of modesty, God gives us another motivation for modesty.  We are the sanctuary of the Holy Spirit. “Or do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?For you were bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (LSB)  This is in the context of the command to “flee sexual immorality”.  Isn’t it amazing!  We are adopted as God’s children at the moment of salvation, and He does not leave us alone, but fills us with His Spirit so we can be sanctified.  The Spirit convicts us of sin, encourages our hearts, prays for us, assures us of salvation, and the list goes on and on.  We are in a fleshly, sin-cursed body until Jesus returns.  So we bring the Spirit along in all of our life.  When we sin, and when we obey, He is there.  We see in Romans that part of being filled with the Spirit means we must not be conformed to the world.  “Therefore I exhort you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice—living, holy, and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may approve what the will of God is, that which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2 (LSB). As we renew our mind in the Word, we will learn to approve of the things that God wills.  Everything that is “good and pleasing and perfect”.  The more we love God, the more humble and the more humble, the more we conform externally and internally to God’s standard.

This is what you wear to work hard outside.

So what can I wear?

This is the logical question after such a lengthy description of modesty, but really, not a question I can spell out.  God did not give us a fashion guide so how could I presume to have more wisdom than God?  But I can say that what we wear is a reflection of our hearts.  The clothing we wear tells a story to everyone we see.  Show me a girl who is trying her best to blend into the world, and I will show you a heart that is fleeing from God.  Show me a woman who is trying her best to get attention by the way she dresses and I will show you a woman who is not renewing her mind, but is conforming to the world.  The goal should be adorning our bodies in a way that allows us to do the good works God has planned, while also promoting humility and a desire to glorify God in our bodies.  God does not condemn the adornment, He condemns the heart of pride that takes the glory from Him.  After all, “Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!’ Matthew 6:28-30 (LSB). He is an artist and has created so much beauty all around us.  We can thank Him for the craftsmanship of beautiful clothing that we can enjoy.  The world has tried to convince us that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and there is no objective standard of beauty.  But we have all been made in the image of God and we have a built in understanding of what is beautiful. 

This is what you wear to chop lettuce : )

Final Encouragement.

As a teenager, if there was ever any question or argument about what I was wearing, my mom would always say, “Go ask your father what he thinks.” I think back to some interesting fashion choices and my dad being very patient to give me his advice.  Now, as a wife and mother of four girls, I am under the authority of my husband and I do the same thing with him.  “What do you think” is a simple question that allows an open conversation with our husbands.  You might find that you have resisted asking because you know the answer and you don’t want to hear it.  You might find that you have ignored your husband so much that he just gives you the answer you want to hear and it will take time to reverse that habit.  Men are very aware and in tune with what is modest and what is not.  A godly man will desire modesty for his family.  A godly woman will desire her husbands guidance.  Don’t assume, ask.  If your husband or father is ok with it but you are still concerned that you are being immodest, then be specific and ask again for them to notice the specific thing you are talking about.  Again, don’t assume you know, ask for their perspective.  God is so kind to give us protection as the weaker vessel.  We are prone to try to take responsibility when we should be taking instruction.  We are prone to fill in the gaps of our husband when we should be waiting patiently for him to take the lead.  May we sharpen each other as women in this area of modesty and make it easier and easier for brothers and sisters in Christ to flee sexual immorality. 

A few examples of how our clothing tells a story.

This is what you wear when you are sheep in a play.

This is what you wear when you want people to think you’re a pirate.

This is also what you wear when you want people to think you’re a pirate.

This is what you wear when you are a queen.

This is what you wear to a wedding.

This is what you wear to Vacation Bible School if you are a cool parent/sound team.

This is what you wear if you are in Hawaii.

This is what a firefighter wears.

This is what a super hero wears.